Friday, April 10, 2015
Monday, March 23, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
I was once told that I had no dreams and no drive. That statement plagues me a bit. What is the point for me to have dreams and goals if nothing goes as planned. I feel I can't win for losing. Every time I see myself succeeding someone greater than myself has other plans. I can fully admit sometimes I'm at fault, but damn for once I want just one thing in life to be simple. Is that too much to ask?
Sunday, March 8, 2015
It is funny how some thoughts sneak upon us and how profound they can be. I've always believed that our children are our chance at mortality. I'm not making the reference that the body will live forever but through our actions and our teachings they become a little part of us. I realized today that my daughter is my opportunity to live forever. Through her my dreams will be fulfilled because she is a part of me and my teachings.
I have reached a new point in my life where the road should feel more difficult. Many who have walked my path with me has vanished. For the most part I stand alone. A few years back I would not have been able to stand on my own. It is because of a few that I gained this strength and I salute them. I am stronger now because they showed me what I possess inside. Their time in my life's journey is done for their purpose has been fulfilled and those meant to stay continue to remain true and steady in my life. I am ready to embrace the next chapter of my life without looking back too much to the past. Look out world for here I come. Confidence is building daily.
A normal healthy relationship is one where both partners feel connected and supported, yet still have their own identities, Communication and boundaries are the key to a successful relationship. Communication allows both partners the ability to express their concerns without fear or judgement from the other. Communication gives the feeling of connection and allows for the celebration and of accomplishments yet is there for the moral support on the dark times. Boundaries places guidelines on what each partner feels comfortable and uncomfortable with. Boundaries states that it is not acceptable to feel the need to check up on the other partner and to limit time with others. Boundaries also keeps from the accusations of unfaithfulness and the lack of trust.
After reading all of the information I realize that I have not made a true attempt at having a healthy relationship. Communication has never been an issue for me, but boundaries apparently is something that I need to seriously work on. I trust no one completely for fear of abandonment and rejection. I feel this driving need to know where my partner is all the time and want to be right by his side at all times. Sometimes I feel it is his obligation to keep me posted out of fear that he will abandon me. I have been know to check up with his comings and goings via the internet. The next step for me is to figure out how not to be this way.
My abandonment issues will take time for me to address because I learned of abandonment at an early age and it has been a consistent issue in my life. I will shoulder some of the blame here. I keep people at arm's length so they can get close enough to hurt me. I also push people away before they can love me, because the fear of rejection is so great.
I see the challenges before me and I am not afraid to address them. One foot is in front of the other and I am moving forward. No one gets ahead in life by constantly looking backwards.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Friday, March 6, 2015
Saturday, February 28, 2015
“Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Monday, February 23, 2015
What is intellectual disability?
- Intellectual functioning. Also known as IQ, this refers to a person’s ability to learn, reason, make decisions, and solve problems.
- Adaptive behaviors. These are skills necessary for day-to-day life, such as being able to communicate effectively, interact with others, and take care of oneself.
What are the signs of intellectual disability in children?
- Rolling over, sitting up, crawling, or walking late
- Talking late or having trouble with talking
- Slow to master things like potty training, dressing, and feeding himself or herself
- Difficulty remembering things
- Inability to connect actions with consequences
- Behavior problems such as explosive tantrums
- Difficulty with problem-solving or logical thinking
What causes intellectual disability?
- Genetic conditions. These include things like Down syndrome and fragile X syndrome.
- Problems during pregnancy.Things that can interfere with fetal brain development include alcohol or drug use, malnutrition, certain infections, or preeclampsia.
- Problems during childbirth.Intellectual disability may result if a baby is deprived of oxygen during childbirth or born extremely premature.
- Illness or injury. Infections like meningitis, whooping cough, or themeasles can lead to intellectual disability. Severe head injury, near-drowning, extreme malnutrition, exposure to toxic substances such as lead, and severe neglect or abuse can also cause it.
Can intellectual disability be prevented?
How is intellectual disability diagnosed?
What services are available for people with intellectual disability?
What can I do to help my intellectually disabled child?
- Learn everything you can about intellectual disabilities. The more you know, the better advocate you can be for your child.
- Encourage your child’s independence. Let your child try new things and encourage your child to do things by himself or herself. Provide guidance when it’s needed and give positive feedback when your child does something well or masters something new.
- Get your child involved in group activities. Taking an art class or participating in Scouts will help your child build social skills.
- Stay involved. By keeping in touch with your child’s teachers, you’ll be able to follow his or her progress and reinforce what your child is learning at school through practice at home.
- Get to know other parents of intellectually disabled children. They can be a great source of advice and emotional support.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
- Before I can begin to open my submissive nature to You, I need to feel safe and have reason to trust You. To let down my walls and give You control of my will may take time and testing before I feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship. Even after I’ve given myself to You fully, I need to be reminded I am safe with You. I may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how You stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, I will remain safe in Your care.
- I will be many things to You as our relationship grows and I need to know You accept me as a person during each transition along the way. I need to know You accept me as a friend, lover, companion, and Your submissive but also accept me as parent, child, employee, community member or other roles I fill in my obligations to family or society.
- I need to know exactly what You expect of me and know that You also understand my limits. In some ways I am like a child that needs a fence around my play area so I know how far I can go and feel secure inside those limits. I need You to reinforce those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without Your approval.
- I need to know You mean what You say and that today’s rules will apply to tomorrow’s behavior. Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals by allowing me to break rules that You’ve given me. From time to time I may test You to see if You are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently bringing me back to the path You’ve chosen for me. It’s not done to try Your patience, but is my way of finding reassurance You are paying attention to my progress. Very often it’s not done consciously and I promise I’ll not use it as a method for provoking Your negative responses.
- I need to grow and to be challenged. Left on my own, I’ll become bored or stagnate within the boundaries I accepted in the beginning. I need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the places I’ve been. I may drag my feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse to move because I’m unsure and need Your guidance in overcoming my obstacles. I depend on You for strength and encouragement to get beyond them.
- I need to learn, and it is You who are my teacher. My mind is hungry for new things and learning helps me to become all that I can be. This may require You to continue to learn new things in order to keep me challenged. Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have and deepen the diversity we share.
- Part of my make-up as a submissive makes me very goal-oriented. I need them to measure my progress and need You to provide them for me. Take time to explain those goals in ways I can comprehend Your plans concerning my growth as Your submissive. Without Your direction, I quickly become lost so I’ll look to You frequently to provide a purpose and aim as I continue in my development as a submissive.
- I need You to correct me when I make mistakes. Without Your correction, I will develop bad habits that can be very difficult to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us as individuals. Without Your correction, I may never know I’ve made a mistake. Allowing me to continue unchecked will only cause me to fail both of us in the end. I admire firmness in Your correction and feel secure in knowing that You will never be afraid to take steps needed in keeping me focused on the goals You’ve set for me.
- I look up to You and try to follow in Your footsteps. If You fail to live up to a standard, I will follow You into failure, often without You noticing until it is too late. I learn quickly by the examples You provide for me and often base my reactions and behaviors on my observations of You in similar situations. I will blindly pattern myself in Your image, so be aware that my eyes will always be on You as You face Your own challenges and daily activities.
- I need to know when You approve of me or what I’ve done and to know I belong to You even if I fall short of my goals. I sometimes confuse approval with disapproval when You do not provide positive reinforcement when You are pleased by my actions. I will constantly be seeking Your approval when I’m unsure of myself and may need to rely deeply on Your support and reassurance when I’m confused about a situation or apprehensive about a new challenge.
- I have a need to express both good and bad things to You but it may be difficult for me to put the negative things into words. I fear Your rejection and hate disappointing You, so I may need a little space and time to voice all the things I need to say. You can help me by reassuring me that my feelings are valid, even if they aren’t something You find pleasure in hearing. There may be times when I’m upset or angry with You but without freedom to express those feelings, there can be only festering resentment or misunderstanding. Guide me in ways that I can learn to speak my heart without breaking it or Yours.
- I need to experience things that may be painful in order to learn successfully. I know Your protective nature will struggle with allowing me to be hurt but I need to learn the consequences of what I’ve done and to experience the feelings that go along with making mistakes. I will need Your comfort once I’ve faced my failure, but will sometimes feel unworthy of asking or unable to voice my disappointment in failing. Allow me to sort out my feelings before wiping away my tears.
- Nothing hurts me more than to know I’ve failed or displeased You, and I need to be forgiven once I’ve made amends. It is very hard for me to forgive myself for a wrong-doing and I may need Your help in getting beyond the feelings of remorse I am carrying. I may even need to be punished, if my wrong-doing was traumatic enough, in order to feel closure and accept forgiveness. I depend on You to make that determination for me and need Your help in making an atonement that is acceptable to You.
- I have a deep-set need to give and must have outlets for this need. My basic nature is to give of myself and You will be the primary recipient of my gifts. Allow me to contribute to our relationship and our life together. To do less will leave me unfulfilled and unneeded, a fate worse than death for me. Provide me with ways to contribute things to others, also. I may need to give of myself to those I hold dear but You will always receive the best I have to offer.
- Without experiencing and enjoying my successes, I may give up my fight to be all You desire for me. Allow me the pleasure of savoring the taste of victory when I overcome an obstacle or if You find pride in my attempts. All of my successes belong to You and I need to share their rewards with You. I don’t expect You to spoil me with grand displays for little victories, but when I’ve reached beyond the limits of my past attempts, please don’t deny me the sweet feelings of knowing I've achieved a goal You've set.
- Sharing with You is a compelling need and one of the cornerstones of my submissive nature. This includes the emotional and spiritual aspects of my being as well as the physical body I inhabit. It may be difficult for me to give You access to the deeper levels of my emotions and feelings, but those are the things I need to share the most. I’ll depend on You to direct me in ways I can achieve total openness with You. I also need to share in the things You are. Trust me enough to share in Your fears, failures and struggles. I’ll never see You as weak or incapable because You have shown confidence in me by giving part of Yourself in trust.
- No matter how well I’ve done or how miserably I’ve failed, I need to know I’m still loved and protected by You. Nothing will prevent me from trying new things like fear of losing Your respect and love. By the reverse, nothing will encourage me to expand my limits and grow to be all I am capable of being more than knowing You will be there to protect me from harm and will love me even if I fall short of the target. I need to be loved and to love You in return. I can’t survive without it.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
Sunday, February 15, 2015
One day I had taken my kids to the park. There were other kids there playing. Kaden was in a mood and wanted to scream about everything. A dad scolded his son for being mean to mine. I told that dad his kid did nothing to mine, but this is just how Kaden is. The dad took his son aside and explained that Kaden was different than most children. After the talk the boy tried more to make sure Kaden was enjoying the park experience. This boy taught me something that day: Kaden's possible purpose. If through Kaden others can learn understanding and compassion, it might just be the purpose for Kaden's existence. At that moment I found some peace in the news that my son is different.
Our journey has just begun and we will embrace each new experience with courage and determination.
I Am...... bold
I Am...... brave
I Am...... fearless
I Am...... courageous
I Am...... inventive
I Am...... daring
I Am...... limitless
I Am...... wise
I Am...... tenacious
I Am...... spirited
I Am...... undismayed
I Am...... undaunted
I Am...... beautiful
I Am...... desirable
I Am...... pleasant
I Am...... admirable
I Am...... a cape wearing special needs mom.