Monday, March 23, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
I was once told that I had no dreams and no drive. That statement plagues me a bit. What is the point for me to have dreams and goals if nothing goes as planned. I feel I can't win for losing. Every time I see myself succeeding someone greater than myself has other plans. I can fully admit sometimes I'm at fault, but damn for once I want just one thing in life to be simple. Is that too much to ask?
Sunday, March 8, 2015
It is funny how some thoughts sneak upon us and how profound they can be. I've always believed that our children are our chance at mortality. I'm not making the reference that the body will live forever but through our actions and our teachings they become a little part of us. I realized today that my daughter is my opportunity to live forever. Through her my dreams will be fulfilled because she is a part of me and my teachings.
I have reached a new point in my life where the road should feel more difficult. Many who have walked my path with me has vanished. For the most part I stand alone. A few years back I would not have been able to stand on my own. It is because of a few that I gained this strength and I salute them. I am stronger now because they showed me what I possess inside. Their time in my life's journey is done for their purpose has been fulfilled and those meant to stay continue to remain true and steady in my life. I am ready to embrace the next chapter of my life without looking back too much to the past. Look out world for here I come. Confidence is building daily.
A normal healthy relationship is one where both partners feel connected and supported, yet still have their own identities, Communication and boundaries are the key to a successful relationship. Communication allows both partners the ability to express their concerns without fear or judgement from the other. Communication gives the feeling of connection and allows for the celebration and of accomplishments yet is there for the moral support on the dark times. Boundaries places guidelines on what each partner feels comfortable and uncomfortable with. Boundaries states that it is not acceptable to feel the need to check up on the other partner and to limit time with others. Boundaries also keeps from the accusations of unfaithfulness and the lack of trust.
After reading all of the information I realize that I have not made a true attempt at having a healthy relationship. Communication has never been an issue for me, but boundaries apparently is something that I need to seriously work on. I trust no one completely for fear of abandonment and rejection. I feel this driving need to know where my partner is all the time and want to be right by his side at all times. Sometimes I feel it is his obligation to keep me posted out of fear that he will abandon me. I have been know to check up with his comings and goings via the internet. The next step for me is to figure out how not to be this way.
My abandonment issues will take time for me to address because I learned of abandonment at an early age and it has been a consistent issue in my life. I will shoulder some of the blame here. I keep people at arm's length so they can get close enough to hurt me. I also push people away before they can love me, because the fear of rejection is so great.
I see the challenges before me and I am not afraid to address them. One foot is in front of the other and I am moving forward. No one gets ahead in life by constantly looking backwards.