Some days I feel like I have it all figured out. Other days I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. Being an adult doesn't come with any instructions. Everything is trial and error. I'm at this stage in life where I'm afraid that every decision I make is going to be the wrong one. It's not just my life I'm concerned with but the lives of my three children. Days like today I wish my grandfather were still alive so I could go to him and talk to him and ask him what's right choice. But that's not an option. Everything is on me. If I fall it isn't just mean that some feel the repercussions. My children will suffer also. Over the past couple weeks of pondered over a few Life Choices. today I made one choice official. I decided that my children didn't need the baggage that their father aka the donor had to offer them. He's the type a father that likes the title of father yet he does nothing to deserve the title. It has been over a decade since he seen his children. He makes no effort to see them now even after all the time that has passed. His daughter knows nothing of him other than his name. She has no memories of him and that may be a blessing for her sake. I will not put my children in the position to wear that he could hurt them either mentally or physically. I know deep down inside this was the right choice for them. I wish I could say out loud that it hurt me to sever ties with him. but it didn't. How can something hurt that means nothing to you?
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