Thursday, June 30, 2016

Someone of my Own

For many years I had this driving need to have someone of the male gender in my life. Aaron broke me of that in his attempt to destroy me. I was a woman who love giving and receiving affection. I was a woman who craved attention, but now I prefer to just be left alone. The thought of having someone even touch me with some form of affection makes me cringe. He turned me into a monster, who lacks the ability to form an attachment to anyone of the other gender. I need to find a way to get past this, for my children do not deserve to see their mother struggling with anything.They deserve a mother who is happy and in love with life. They deserve to see a mother who can do anything she sets her mind on. Instead they have me with all of my baggage. I see in their eyes that they also are carrying some of my baggage. It's not fair. Tomorrow starts a new chapter in our lives. There will be no looking back, and there will be no Aaron. Part of me hurts knowing that there will be no Aaron, but my children need this so I can grow and be the role model of strength for them, and to stop being someone's verbal punching bag. Please keep me and mine in your thoughts and prayers as we begin our new life.