Impending Doom

Today I'm feeling overwhelmed with an undeniable sense of impending doom. I can't seem to shake it. I don't know where it came from, yet here it is. Tomorrow I turn 40 and I'm not happy about that fact, but I can't change it either. Maybe loneliness is setting in. I'm going to be 40 and I've never truly been married. There's so much more I've wanted out of life, yet I've settled. I feel that I'm at the halfway point of my life and I don't feel I've ever truly lived. Maybe it's time for that midlife crisis I hear is so popular, but I guess only men are entitled to those. I'm at a crossroad and I'm uncertain of which direction to choose. Any direction I go will be the wrong one, but a choice must be made soon. I think the uncertainty of which direction to take is part of the madness setting in. You are free to choose, but you are never free of the consequences of that choice.