This blog is dedicated to my journey as a single, special needs mom, who is battling the school system, PTSD, and depression.
Showing posts with label my love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my love. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
The Greatest Blessing in my Life
About 18 years and 9 months ago my world was in shambles. I had become everything I swore I would never be. I was barely 18 and had a failed marriage. I was lost and only wanted an escape from this world. I wanted to die. At the moment I was ready to give up and end it all, I found out that I was pregnant. I knew at that moment to take my own life would be to kill my unborn child also. I knew that I could not be that selfish. Decisions on what to do was my next step. I knew that I would be raising my child alone without any paternal help. I saw myself as a weak person with no backbone. How could I raise a child when I could not even stand up for myself? I knew abortion wasn't an option. For nine months I tossed around the idea of giving my child up for adoption and I continued to ponder that idea until the moment I gave birth. The moment I held him for the first time, I knew that I loved him more than life itself. On this day 18 years ago I gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy. I named him Trenton Chance. The name Chance was to symbolize the opportunity he gave me by being his mother. He became my salvation. I would not trade him for anything else in this world. I know with him I made mistakes on a grand scale and have done things that he may never forgive me for. Most of what I have done was for his benefit. Everyday I miss not being a part of his daily life, but he is in my mind and heart wherever I am and whatever I do. I love you more than breath, my son.
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