Friday, December 7, 2018
Moving Past the Bullshit of It All
Some days it doesn't matter what you do, you just can't seem to please anyone. Tonight I think I had a mental breakthrough. If people can't be completely pleased by your presence or your actions, they don't belong in your life. You should be loved for merely being who you are and not necessarily what you can bring to the table. I will say this: I know what I bring to the table and I am not afraid to eat alone.
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Father's Day 2018
As the Parental Figure:
For the past 10 years I've raised my two minor children by myself without the involvement of the one who sired them. In the grand scheme of things they are better off without the drama he would provide them. The greatest drawback is: they have no male role model. My son will never know how to be a man's man and my daughter will never know the role a man should hold in a woman's life. My role in their life is father and mother. There are times I wish things weren't so hard for them, but really what do I know about the role of the father.
Daddy Issues:
I lost the only man who held the role as father nearly 11 years ago. Not A day goes by that I don't miss him. He was my Papa. Through him I learned kindness and gentleness. Without his presence in my life I never would have survived the abandonment of my birth father. My birth father taught me: at the end of the day it doesn't force them to love you. Being of the same blood once accounted for something. Now blood will betray you faster than those you call friend.
To the fathers out there: Happy Father's Day
To the mothers out there assuming both roles: I know the road you walk is challenging, but at the end of it all it'll be worth it. I salute you.
To the deadbeat dads out there: today is not your day. The day reserved for you is April Fools Day. You are a fool in the greatest sense of the word, because you were given a precious gift and you threw it away.
For the past 10 years I've raised my two minor children by myself without the involvement of the one who sired them. In the grand scheme of things they are better off without the drama he would provide them. The greatest drawback is: they have no male role model. My son will never know how to be a man's man and my daughter will never know the role a man should hold in a woman's life. My role in their life is father and mother. There are times I wish things weren't so hard for them, but really what do I know about the role of the father.
Daddy Issues:
I lost the only man who held the role as father nearly 11 years ago. Not A day goes by that I don't miss him. He was my Papa. Through him I learned kindness and gentleness. Without his presence in my life I never would have survived the abandonment of my birth father. My birth father taught me: at the end of the day it doesn't force them to love you. Being of the same blood once accounted for something. Now blood will betray you faster than those you call friend.
To the fathers out there: Happy Father's Day
To the mothers out there assuming both roles: I know the road you walk is challenging, but at the end of it all it'll be worth it. I salute you.
To the deadbeat dads out there: today is not your day. The day reserved for you is April Fools Day. You are a fool in the greatest sense of the word, because you were given a precious gift and you threw it away.
Monday, April 9, 2018
I'm Sorry
Once we have done something to offend another, "I'm sorry," holds very little weight. Live life in a manner in which you never have to apologize for your actions.
Sunday, April 8, 2018
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Friday, March 30, 2018
Impending Doom
Today I'm feeling overwhelmed with an undeniable sense of impending doom. I can't seem to shake it. I don't know where it came from, yet here it is. Tomorrow I turn 40 and I'm not happy about that fact, but I can't change it either. Maybe loneliness is setting in. I'm going to be 40 and I've never truly been married. There's so much more I've wanted out of life, yet I've settled. I feel that I'm at the halfway point of my life and I don't feel I've ever truly lived. Maybe it's time for that midlife crisis I hear is so popular, but I guess only men are entitled to those. I'm at a crossroad and I'm uncertain of which direction to choose. Any direction I go will be the wrong one, but a choice must be made soon. I think the uncertainty of which direction to take is part of the madness setting in. You are free to choose, but you are never free of the consequences of that choice.
Thursday, March 8, 2018
Hades
He came into my life as a furry steadfast companion. I never regretted the day he choose me as his human, though I fear I never realized the impact he held on my life.
When life was too much to handle and I would sit and cry all day long, he would sit in my lap. At nights when I would lie down for the night he was either there when I went to bed or he'd meow and scratch at the door until I let him in. Wherever I went he would follow. Whatever hell I lived in his presence was always there.
On 3/4/2018 I lost my companion to the road. Never before had he been on a road, but the road took his life this day. I'll never forget my oldest child telling me, "Mom, I have some bad news. Hades is dead." My heart sank. My head couldn't wrap itself with the words. I had to see for myself. Upon seeing his lifeless body, I realize I lost my most faithful friend. Never before have I sobbed over the loss of a pet, but on this day I did and at this moment I still do.
My life lesson in this: never take a life for granted, because one day they'll only be a memory. Tell those you love how valuable they are too you. Life is too short to regret words not said. Some day memories will be all we have left.
When life was too much to handle and I would sit and cry all day long, he would sit in my lap. At nights when I would lie down for the night he was either there when I went to bed or he'd meow and scratch at the door until I let him in. Wherever I went he would follow. Whatever hell I lived in his presence was always there.
On 3/4/2018 I lost my companion to the road. Never before had he been on a road, but the road took his life this day. I'll never forget my oldest child telling me, "Mom, I have some bad news. Hades is dead." My heart sank. My head couldn't wrap itself with the words. I had to see for myself. Upon seeing his lifeless body, I realize I lost my most faithful friend. Never before have I sobbed over the loss of a pet, but on this day I did and at this moment I still do.
My life lesson in this: never take a life for granted, because one day they'll only be a memory. Tell those you love how valuable they are too you. Life is too short to regret words not said. Some day memories will be all we have left.
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
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