Friday, March 30, 2018
Impending Doom
Today I'm feeling overwhelmed with an undeniable sense of impending doom. I can't seem to shake it. I don't know where it came from, yet here it is. Tomorrow I turn 40 and I'm not happy about that fact, but I can't change it either. Maybe loneliness is setting in. I'm going to be 40 and I've never truly been married. There's so much more I've wanted out of life, yet I've settled. I feel that I'm at the halfway point of my life and I don't feel I've ever truly lived. Maybe it's time for that midlife crisis I hear is so popular, but I guess only men are entitled to those. I'm at a crossroad and I'm uncertain of which direction to choose. Any direction I go will be the wrong one, but a choice must be made soon. I think the uncertainty of which direction to take is part of the madness setting in. You are free to choose, but you are never free of the consequences of that choice.
Thursday, March 8, 2018
Hades
He came into my life as a furry steadfast companion. I never regretted the day he choose me as his human, though I fear I never realized the impact he held on my life.
When life was too much to handle and I would sit and cry all day long, he would sit in my lap. At nights when I would lie down for the night he was either there when I went to bed or he'd meow and scratch at the door until I let him in. Wherever I went he would follow. Whatever hell I lived in his presence was always there.
On 3/4/2018 I lost my companion to the road. Never before had he been on a road, but the road took his life this day. I'll never forget my oldest child telling me, "Mom, I have some bad news. Hades is dead." My heart sank. My head couldn't wrap itself with the words. I had to see for myself. Upon seeing his lifeless body, I realize I lost my most faithful friend. Never before have I sobbed over the loss of a pet, but on this day I did and at this moment I still do.
My life lesson in this: never take a life for granted, because one day they'll only be a memory. Tell those you love how valuable they are too you. Life is too short to regret words not said. Some day memories will be all we have left.
When life was too much to handle and I would sit and cry all day long, he would sit in my lap. At nights when I would lie down for the night he was either there when I went to bed or he'd meow and scratch at the door until I let him in. Wherever I went he would follow. Whatever hell I lived in his presence was always there.
On 3/4/2018 I lost my companion to the road. Never before had he been on a road, but the road took his life this day. I'll never forget my oldest child telling me, "Mom, I have some bad news. Hades is dead." My heart sank. My head couldn't wrap itself with the words. I had to see for myself. Upon seeing his lifeless body, I realize I lost my most faithful friend. Never before have I sobbed over the loss of a pet, but on this day I did and at this moment I still do.
My life lesson in this: never take a life for granted, because one day they'll only be a memory. Tell those you love how valuable they are too you. Life is too short to regret words not said. Some day memories will be all we have left.
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